A weekend in Slovakia

I spent this weekend in Slovakia. What a killer opening sentence that is.

On Friday night, myself and six other Erasmus students excitedly awaited our coach to Bratislava after only buying tickets on Wednesday – talk about impulse buying! The horror movie Hostel, which depicts the gruesome fate of some unfortunate teenagers in an Eastern-European hostel, was filmed in Bratislava, so I will admit that I was a tad apprehensive to have that as my only preconception of the city. Evidently, my writing this proves that I have not been hacked to pieces or had my eyeballs blow-torched out, so I think the moral of the story is to never judge a book by its cover. Original, isn’t it?

A 13 hour drive through the night meant we woke up in Bratislava on Saturday morning, but we were initially unsure if we were in the right place because it was like a ghost town. Undeterred, however, we wrapped up warmly and headed off to join a free walking tour of the city. Over the 2 hours, our guide, Lucia, reeled off endless historical facts and figures in impeccable English whilst showing us all the sights of the city, such as St Michael’s Gate, the Hrad (Castle), the Blue Church, the university and several statues. She also taught us a Slovakian tongue twister and how to order 27 shots of vodka! Despite the torrential rain, her enthusiasm remained, which is more than can be said for the majority of the group – less than half of us stayed to the end. I was glad that I did even though I was sodden and freezing!

The best discovery of the day was TESCO. Whether it reminded us of Britain or the price of vodka was just so low, I’m not sure, but we loaded up our baskets like children in a sweet shop and read out every sign in very bad Borat style accents. For anyone who knows how much I enjoy food shopping at the best of times, triple that and you get the idea.

We dined that night at a traditional Slovakian restaurant which Lucia had recommended to us. The best way to describe it was delicious and cheap – perfect! Our bill of 63 euros between seven of us, each ordering two choices plus wine was an absolute steal. I tried a meat soup and Halusky – potato dumplings with sheep’s cheese and bacon. Alex tried half of the menu.

After dinner we went on a bar crawl which was odd and hilarious, each of the four bars being very different. The first bar, ROCK OK, served us as much wine or beer as we could consume in an hour (read: lots) and I watched a man share his beer with a King Charles spaniel. The second club was boring. The third, Masquerade, adorned its walls with a peculiar décor of gas masks, and its guests with party hats. Heading downstairs in this club instantly reminded me of the scene from The Inbetweeners Movie where the whole place is completely dead. Robyn took it as the ideal opportunity to practise her punching, flailing and crab dance moves, so the empty dance floor was put to good use.

Before we entered the final club, our tour guide pulled us off the street, away from the police, to neck some illicit vodka-Redbull concoction which he produced from his rucksack. Suspicions aside, we polished it off in true Brits Abroad style and headed into the club for a few hours. This club was my favourite because the music wasn’t Slokavian at last and I found a Kinder Egg which I gleefully carried home like some sort of peculiar party bag. Happily, Bratislava caters for midnight munchies much better than Strasbourg does, so some of us bought kebabs from the Thinnest Kebab Shop in the World (officially, it was on the tour.)

We spent Sunday sightseeing in beautiful sunshine, wandering along the Danube and trekking up to the fortress castle which offered fabulous views of the whole city. The communist, flat pack housing blocks on the other side of the river were like a Lego city, and they gave the impression that the city is still trying to escape from its turbulent history to catch up with 21^st Century Europe both socially and economically. Given that many people in Slovakia have a monthly wage lower than my monthly rent, it is clear why life in this little capital is so cheap. I’ve never been this far east so I didn’t know what to expect, but it is a beautiful place full of charm and character.

Robyn and Annie spent Sunday night educating us on the mysterious allure of Irn Bru over card games and Jenga in our cosy Hostel Blues, and before we knew it we were loading back up onto the coach to head back to Strasbourg. It was lovely that this journey was in daylight because the snowy Austrian mountains and grazing cows made for beautiful scenery remarkably similar to a Milka packet.

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend, another country off the bucket list, and another example of the amazing opportunities this Year Abroad has to offer if you know where to find them. Until next time, as they say in Slovakia, dovidenia!